Suddenly, you’re not into it. You don’t want to talk about your book, or tweet about it, or even pack it on your way to an event. Truth is, you’re discouraged that sales figures don’t match your expectations. You wish books could sell on their own, but they won’t, they can’t, and even so, you tell yourself it’s too much to keep doing.
(Whom might I be talking about here? I guess you know.)
This creeping apathy came like a head cold out of nowhere. I couldn’t identify the moment I became infected. One minute, I was fine; the next, I started feeling blah about the business involved.
I talked to three people today who cured me of my bout of author apathy.
The first was the delightful Marcia Riefer Johnston, who shared her author’s journey, highlighting the fact that for her, it’s all about the possibilities and surprises that unfold in the process of publishing and selling.
She has no idea what each new relationship will lead to. She networks with authors, freelancers, creatives–listening, getting feedback, and celebrating the partnering aspects of being an author and entrepreneur.
Seeing Marcia’s freedom from expectations, and listening to her happy-go-lucky approach, reminded me that every single part of the creative process, even the publishing and marketing, has innate rewards.
The second person was Paulann Petersen, Oregon Poet Laureate and tonight’s featured reader at Broadway Books in Portland. The stunning poems from her new book, Understory, kept a crowd of people on their feet as they closed their eyes, smiled, or nodded, breathing in her words like holy incense.
Host and store owner Roberta Dyer pointed out all the ways Paulann gives herself to poetry and community, traveling thousands of miles to offer workshops to students of every age and economic background. I thought: this is how I want to be. Writing and sharing my gifts, not focusing on how many books I am selling. This awareness was a cleansing draught.
The third person was Stephen Arndt, a poet and novelist, who has had nothing but kind, encouraging things to say since the day I met him. I talked about being discouraged with my slow pace of scheduling in relation to the ideas in my head. He said, “There is nothing wrong with your pace.” That statement floored me.
Oh, and Stephen bought a book.
Okay, Universe. I get the message! I don’t need to focus on numbers, but people. I must keep an open heart, sharing my best nonfiction, stories, and poems with a generous spirit, letting the surprises unfold.
Thank you.